guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
