I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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