I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
