I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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