the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
