I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
