Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
