The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My dick has a subreddit
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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