I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
These tits shall not be calmed
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
