Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We have started to decorate penises.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
