Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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