did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I looked at my own cervix.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
