Where did you get a picture of my penis
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
