But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
