elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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