they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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