There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
