I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
