There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
