Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
