Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My liver is preforming stress tests.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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