my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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