Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
