Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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