yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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