Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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