Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
