Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
