Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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