You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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