Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
