He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
