when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
