I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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