That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
