I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
There was a lot of him and a little penis
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
