I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
