I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
