We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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