I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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