I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just cropdusted the office
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize