I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
