But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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