I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
