dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
