Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
