I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Less talking, more tequila
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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