Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize