her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
