Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He did a backflip because drugs
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
