anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
