Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
