Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
