Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
