belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
false alarm. still invincible.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
