you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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