She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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