This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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