Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize