So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
