this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
