let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
