Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
