i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
