My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
